Jason Dohring

Day Four

Can we just take a moment and talk about Jason Dohring?  It is an absolute travesty that this man is not in more movies and TV shows.  If you don't know who I'm talking about (firstly you need to just smack yourself) he played Logan Echolls on Veronica Mars.  If you don't know what Veronica Mars was, you don't deserve to be on this Earth.  Logan was a character that was deeply flawed and extremely passionate.  He came from a fucked up, broken family and made a lot of really dumb decisions but damn was he delicious.  Logan was someone you couldn't help but like even when he was just a straight up asshole.  Jason Dohring brought Logan to life in a way that is almost its own art form outside of acting.  It was transcendent.   I can't watch any episode of Veronica Mars without completely losing it every time he's in a scene.

So why isn't he in more?????

Lately he's had run as a cop on The Originals on the C.W.  He deserves so much more though.  If I had it my way he'd be in just as many movies in Kristin Bell and heading up his own TV show.  The man can do comedy, drama, intrigue, you name it. 

Have I mentioned he's hot as fuck? 

An Unsouthern Tradition

Day 3

I've lived in The South for almost my entire life.  I grew up in the house that my grandparents built and I currently live only 3 min away from that same house.  My oldest child attends the same school as my dad, brother and I went to.  I was raised to be a W.A.S.P. and I have rejected that hardcore.  A lot of the girls I grew up with have stayed on that same track and I now see wedding posts, engagement posts, and baby announcements on a weekly basis.  Facebook is a great way to both keep up with people and hate yourself a little bit at the same time.  From watching the way these women present themselves and their lives I've learned that I was never cut out for that life style.  I don't look good as a blonde, I almost never wear makeup, I find most of the things they post a giant waste of money and time and energy, South Beach is dumb, and I just can't "people" they way they do.  As wives and parents these women are totally rocking it so I'm not all judgmental up in here but I personally just can't.  Their kids all wear matching Lily Pulitzer outfits and they have these grand photoshoots for every occasion.  I'm lucky if I can scrounge around and find my iphone for a couple of dumb pictures with my friends for an entire evening out (which happens like once every 3 months).  I take a lot of pictures of my kids when we're hanging out but its just like regular family pictures or pictures of my daughters hair that I've done a good job on.  These women have made careers out of presenting themselves and their families as perfect.  Never an unmanicured nail or hair out of place or screaming child meltdown to be seen.  I'm sometimes jealous of all this but mostly just exhausted for them.  It can't be fun or easy to always be on.  I can't even date a guy for more than a few months I can't imagine being my age and married and having to make plans with my other married friends and host dinner parties and go to country club functions.   

Like shoot me.

I would much rather eat couch pizza  and hang around in my underwear all day by myself.

A Harvey Dent Story

Day Two

I've just ordered dinner from Tropical Pickin Chicken.  I absolutely love this place.  In recent years I've both stopped cooking at home and developed a mighty taste for South American cuisine.  Arepas, Empanadas, plantains, its all delicious!  My main reason for posting tonight is unrelated to my dinner, however.

I do a lot of online dating.  It seems to be the best way to meet new people when you work way too much and just generally hate people.  I've met some decent guys online and had some really interesting conversations.  Yes, there are a lot of creeps online but there are just as many on the bar scene.  I had a guy proposition me into giving him a blow job for sex online which is fine because I can just click a button a block him.  He's not physically next to me doing this shit.  I can ignore messages, stop talking to people outright.  It's glorious.

The worst part about online dating is what I call the "Harvey Dent Effect."  If you're not aware of who Harvey Dent is go watch the Batman cartoon and then come back.  If you don't have time for that, he's the villain known as Two Face.  So there's two different ways the HDE can happen.  The first is physical.  Sometimes you're talking to a dude (or lady if that's your jam) and their pictures look great and things are going well.  Then they send you a new pic or maybe you meet them in person and now you're suddenly wondering if they have all their teeth and what kind of magical lighting did they use for their pics.  Yes, everyone is going to look different than their pictures but there's a margin of error.  For my personal tastes, if you look more than 5% different than your profile then I'm out.  The second HDE is much more sinister.  This is when you're talking to a person and they seem really chill and cool and awesome.  Then, you find out "the truth."  They might be a Trump supporter, a vegan who brings it up every two seconds, or just a dick.  Somehow this deep dark part of their personality has been kept in check until the actual first or second date and then it rears its ugly head.  To be fair, I'm probably really guilty of this.  While I warn people I'm a bitch on day one, people don't usually believe me.

Suckers.

Captain's log

Day One

I'm supposed to be asleep right now.  In fact I scolded myself an hour ago that I was still up.  Once again I've fallen down that deep dark hole that is the internet and my own fucked up brain.  I've started this new blogging adventure as an outlet for all the dark things bouncing around in my head.  The goal is to get more sleep and maybe be a more well adjusted normal human being.  I'm not holding my breath for either.  Really I just talk about this shit too much at work and with new dates and at parties...  man I suck sometimes.... but I'm also pretty awesome so hopefully it evens out.  People have suggested I write a book about my life experiences so far but I'm not quite so delusional as to think I'll snap my fingers and magically get a book deal so here we are.... at 2:27am..... On a Tuesday..

My name is Christine.  I am 25 years old and single mother of 2 wonderful kiddos.  I work at what I lovingly refer to as a pharmacy cult :D.  Its really a great company and not a cult but we chant our company motto every morning in unison, hence the nickname.  So all of that is the super boring part of my life and probably the full extent of what my parents actually know about me.  They are a large part of why I refer to myself as fucked up.  Not the whole reason. I think biology also has something to do with it (but I am adopted so I do not share their biology...thank god).  

I really should get some sleep now.. I was informed by my father that if my condo wasn't spotless when he came to check on it that he'd sell it and let me be homeless (ok, not for real homeless but I would have to find a new place to live which I really can't afford),  It's not his fault though.. My mother (also known as she-witch, that lady, she who must not be named, credit card sally, quid pro quo, GiGi, the devil wears prada, etc) has put him up to this.  That woman cannot stand me or let me live my life.  Really she can't let anyone do anything that she hasn't approved of before hand.  So my dad does shit like this because she's behind the scenes making his life a living hell if  he doesn't.  I've asked why they're even still married and the response I get is along the lines of "I'm too old to change, it's better to live the the crazy you know" I used to think its because my dad had no idea how to take care of himself (he can't cook) but in recent years he's taken over more and more household duties.. He started doing his own laundry a few years ago and now he even loads the dishwasher.  He's the main one that takes care of my kids in the mornings (I'm usually working).  He might just love my mom too much which would be really lovely if she weren't just completely awful.

Buckle up buttercups.  Most of this blog will probably be about my mother.