A Harvey Dent Story

Day Two

I've just ordered dinner from Tropical Pickin Chicken.  I absolutely love this place.  In recent years I've both stopped cooking at home and developed a mighty taste for South American cuisine.  Arepas, Empanadas, plantains, its all delicious!  My main reason for posting tonight is unrelated to my dinner, however.

I do a lot of online dating.  It seems to be the best way to meet new people when you work way too much and just generally hate people.  I've met some decent guys online and had some really interesting conversations.  Yes, there are a lot of creeps online but there are just as many on the bar scene.  I had a guy proposition me into giving him a blow job for sex online which is fine because I can just click a button a block him.  He's not physically next to me doing this shit.  I can ignore messages, stop talking to people outright.  It's glorious.

The worst part about online dating is what I call the "Harvey Dent Effect."  If you're not aware of who Harvey Dent is go watch the Batman cartoon and then come back.  If you don't have time for that, he's the villain known as Two Face.  So there's two different ways the HDE can happen.  The first is physical.  Sometimes you're talking to a dude (or lady if that's your jam) and their pictures look great and things are going well.  Then they send you a new pic or maybe you meet them in person and now you're suddenly wondering if they have all their teeth and what kind of magical lighting did they use for their pics.  Yes, everyone is going to look different than their pictures but there's a margin of error.  For my personal tastes, if you look more than 5% different than your profile then I'm out.  The second HDE is much more sinister.  This is when you're talking to a person and they seem really chill and cool and awesome.  Then, you find out "the truth."  They might be a Trump supporter, a vegan who brings it up every two seconds, or just a dick.  Somehow this deep dark part of their personality has been kept in check until the actual first or second date and then it rears its ugly head.  To be fair, I'm probably really guilty of this.  While I warn people I'm a bitch on day one, people don't usually believe me.

Suckers.